


Landslides

by malkinisms (hannibalisms)



Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-03
Updated: 2011-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-26 20:52:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/287733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannibalisms/pseuds/malkinisms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor remembers what was, what is, and what should have been with his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Landslides

I took my love, I took it down  
Climbed a mountain and I turned around  
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills  
Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?  
Can the child within my heart rise above?  
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?  
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changing  
'Cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Children get older and I'm getting older too

Fleetwood Mac - _Landslide_

* * *

Thor wants to pretend that the whole ordeal was just a dream; a horrible, long, detailed dream. He wants to pretend that Loki didn't try to take over Asgard, that his father didn't cast him to Midgard, and that he didn't have to leave Jane behind. He wants to go back to the moment right before his coronation, to try and change something so that Loki didn't feel so unneeded, so unloved. He wants to travel back and tell his younger self to be kind to his brother, to make sure that Loki knows he will always be Loki Odinson. Most of all, though, he wants to pretend that his brother never felt the need to fight him. Thor just wants to pretend.

It was at that moment that thor knew the reason Loki was like this was partially - if not totally - his fault. He had never seen his brother as someone worth showering praise upon; he was his brother, after all, and it should have just been known. Frigga gave enough praise to Loki for his magic, Thor thought, and that was enough. Loki had to _know_ that Thor loved him, more than anything in the world, more than the nine realms and all the ale within them. That Loki would feel the need to prove himself in this manner - Thor cannot blame his brother, or his father, but only himself. He should have been there for Loki through all times and he should have been able to protect his little brother from the world. Thor should not be protecting the world from his brother. And now, Loki has become a pale shade of the brilliant man Thor knew once, and it is entirely his fault.

When they fight on the Bifrost and Loki clings to the edge -  _brother, please!_  - Thor feels that for a moment, Loki's seen what he wants for the two of them, that Loki understands that it doesn't have to be this way. It doesn't go as Thor wants it to, though, and he and Loki fight until they dangle from the Bifrost off the end of his father's hand.  Loki looks lost and confused, like he used to look as boys when he could never best Thor at sparring - _I could have done it, father!_  - and Loki _lets go_ , lets go and Thor wants to fall after him but can't, can't loosen Odin's unrelenting grip.

All Thor can do is mourn his brother, mourn for him in a way that he will never mourn for Jane.  By the time the Bifrost is rebuilt, she will have moved on to someone that she could be with forever and Thor will miss her dearly, but never as much as he misses Loki.

Some days, he goes to stand with Heimdall where the edge of the Bifrost sticks out over the universe.  They don't speak, mostly, Heimdall occasionally offering up what Jane is doing and how she is living her life.  Months afterwards, when the Bifrost has been fixed but the Observatory has yet to be started, Heimdall offers up a different story.

"He misses his life here, Thor."

Thor turns to him but Heimdall stays looking at something that Thor cannot see and his lips part but nothing squeezes past his throat.

"Most of all, he misses his brother."

Thor presses his fingers to his lips but doesn't say anything else, just watches Heimdall watch Loki somewhere in the universe.  After a long moment, Heimdall turns to look at him as if he's appraising Thor in a new light.  "When the Observatory is rebuilt, if Loki is not yet home, I will tell you where he is.  But you cannot force him to return, Thor Odinson, lest history repeats itself."

Heimdall turns away and looks back out over the edge, and Thor smiles.  Though it will take many more months, maybe even years, the Observatory will be rebuilt and Thor will fetch his brother home.  Thor won't have to pretend.

As the time passes, Thor is never named king and Odin still holds the throne, though it doesn't really matter to Thor anymore.  What matters is the finishing of the Observatory, which is so close that Thor can taste it.  He's taken to assisting the builders, though if his father found out he'd be thoroughly scolded; it's something he has to do in his mind, since he was the one to do the breaking then he should be the one to help with the mending.  It's rough work, with molten metal and stinging magic that Loki would have been better at using.  Loki was the one who could form delicate metal pendants and gifts for their mother, where Thor was the one who would show his affection by winning as many challenges as he could at the tournaments held for the birthdays of the royal family.

When the final gold brick is set into place, Thor is the one to meld it into the wall and Thor is the one that has the pleasure of announcing its completion to the Allfather and the Thing.  Odin gives him a rare smile and Frigga presses a kiss to his cheek; the Warriors Three toast him with huge mugs of mead and Sif punches him on the shoulder.  Even though it's his celebration, he doesn't drink as much as he would normally.  He know as soon as the people begin to thin out, he'll escape down to the Bifrost to speak with Heimdall.

When the moment finally comes - _finally_  - Heimdall just opens the Bifrost and Thor throws himself into it.

It spits him out in a forest and Thor tramps around before finding himself in a neighborhood with families gathered for some sort of festival.  There's music and roasting meat and other foods, and Thor wonders what it's for before realizing that he doesn't really care.  He picks Loki out easily and mindless of the fact that he's still in armor and carrying Mjollnir, he makes his way to his brother while hefting the hammer over his shoulder.

By the time that he's made it to Loki everyone's staring and pointing and Loki's gone milk-pale except for two high spots of color on his cheeks.  Thor slings Mjollnir down onto the wooden table Loki sits at and the wood gives with her weight, before Thor turns to Loki.  He plops himself down on the bench next to Loki and sits silently for a moment.  Everyone's watching and Loki's not speaking and Thor enjoys his brother's silence - moments where Loki Silvertongue is rendered speechless are few and far between - until he turns his head and says simply, "Brother, it's high time you came home."

Loki swallows and his adam's apple bobs in his throat - his throat that's left bare by his Midgardian clothing, soft cotton shirt and jeans with fashionable shoes, none of the leather and metal that Asgard prefers - and Thor thinks that he's going to refuse, that Loki's going to tell him that Asgard is no longer his place.  If that's what Loki wants, Thor will let him stay on Midgard of course, but Thor wouldn't leave him alone.  He'd return and stay with Loki, keep him company and needle him until Loki agrees that Asgard is the only place for him; until he agrees with Thor that unless Loki is by Thor's side when he's king, Asgard will go to Hel in a hand basket.

Loki swallows once more.  He licks his lips, and then - "Okay."

Thor grins and slaps his brother on the back, making Loki lurch forward and almost off the bench.  "Good.  We've missed you, little brother."

Loki doesn't grin at him as he once would have, but Thor knows he's pleased.  In the time they've spent apart, Thor's grown and Loki's thought.  They've had time to think about what really matters to the both of them, and the answer is simple - the love they have for each other as brothers.  It won't be easy to patch up the hurts that they've given to each other, but time heals all wounds.  And sparring.  A few good rounds of sparring will help, Thor thinks, where he'll let Loki best him.  Then he'll watch his brother turn his magic tricks and Thor will applaud him, give him the praise that he's held back all these years.  Maybe, if they're lucky, Thor will be able to stop pretending.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a set of tagfics (which you can see in their original form [here](http://blut-mit-vertrauen.tumblr.com/post/11304401949) and [here](http://blut-mit-vertrauen.tumblr.com/post/10543831343) at my writing tumblr) that were also heavily Thor/Loki in my head when I first penned them. After putting them together, though, it made more sense for it to be more a tale of two brothers and how things changed between them. A little angsty, a little happy, all fluff at the end.
> 
> Also the version of _Landslide_ I used is [this one](http://lambscreams.tumblr.com/post/13702284801) off of the live album _The Dance_.
> 
> eta: [here on tumblr](http://blut-mit-vertrauen.tumblr.com/post/18588896845/landslides).


End file.
